I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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