About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize