How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize