Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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