why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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