You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hippo gnu deer
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
