She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize