You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
