plz talk dirty to me
her vagine was all disorganized.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
