idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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