Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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