boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
