Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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