Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
