you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
