I showed him my bush... on skype.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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