Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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