there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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