I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
