also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
