Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
