Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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