Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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