did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
