just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
