They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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