it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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