I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
