Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What a dumb baby whore.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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