he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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