i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
