know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize