Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
