You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
