brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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