i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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