Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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