the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
