I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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