i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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