it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
