was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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