My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
