is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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