Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
