can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize