You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
