the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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