Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
