All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
