i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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