They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
