they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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