Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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