how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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