toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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