Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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