We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
