so explain again why im purple
no
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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