I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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