Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
