I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
