no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
