i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
