ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
